I'm Awesome: A True Story

Another weekend of nothing.  It was raining, it was gross, I barely left the house.  I did, however, go to the mall to get some household stuff and put together the shelving unit I bought earlier this week to go over the washing machine.  So exciting.  (No, actually, it kind of is.  Organization makes me really happy.)

Today I was in the school, doing a mixture of lesson planning and pretending to work.  I basically planned the best lesson ever.  Last week I was speaking with my supervisor about the lesson we teach together, English Conversation (third year, aka graduating class).  It seems like a pretty fun, laid back class, and there`s a lot of freedom for me to be able to make my own materials, so long as the kids are still learning whatever it is they`re supposed to be learning.  Awesome!  My first class will be my self-introduction lesson.  Cool, that`s already done.  Then I looked at the textbook, and the first real lesson I`m doing is "Talking on the Phone/Inviting." 

I was stuck.  I spent most of last week googling different ESL phone lessons, trying to figure out what to do, because the textbook is a) really boring, b) better than some of the horror stories I`ve heard about Japanese English textbooks but still not terribly practical.  The problem is that no one really uses the phone anymore, except for in business, so it`s difficult to come up with a lesson that will be teaching the kids actual things that they could potentially apply to their daily lives and not some vague future instance.  I messaged a friend who had taught Senior High in Hokkaido (thanks, Lina!), but she couldn`t recall teaching a class on phone conversation, and agreed with me that no one really calls to invite people anymore.  We text or Facebook (because Facebook is a verb now, as is text). 

So I`m walking home from the mall on Saturday and I have the most brilliant beyond brilliant idea.  It`s a double-period class (periods 5 and 6, so I have tons of time), so I`ll divide the lesson up! I`ll spend the first half of the lesson strictly on phone etiquette for business, with just a bit of informal phone FYI, so they're getting the phone part the curriculum demands for whatever reason.  Then the second half of the class, the "inviting" focus, I can actually teach the kids about texting, and have them practice inviting people to do things through text!  I refuse to teach them text "speak" until after they`ve completed the activity, though.  I don`t want to get them into bad habits.  I`ll probably just play some kind of mini-game to introduce them to things like "brb," "lol," and "l8r", but not dwell on it so it doesn`t really stick in their minds.  I`m designing worksheets that look like phone screens, with text bubbles and photos, and then I`ll give each partner the scenario for their characters and they`ll have to pass the phone worksheet back and forth as they send each other `texts.`  I`ll have things like, "Mickey is texting Minnie to invite her on a picnic," and then the Mickey sheet will have details of when he wants to have a picnic, etc., and the Minnie sheet will have her availability, interest in the picnic, and so forth.  The students won`t see the other character`s sheet, so they`ll have to respond on the fly based on what they get back from their partner.  I am so ridiculously excited for this lesson now.

Am I awesome or what?!

I spent this afternoon with the English Club students, because they had to make posters about me and my country for the school Culture Festival happening later this week.  So we got chatting, and that always eventually leads to, "What do you like about Japan?" which leads to, "Do you like anime?" which leads to, "Which anime do you like?"  The following conversation happened between me and my two third-year club members, partially in English but mostly in rapid Japanese (which I could understand, because I have the context for it:
Me: I like Polar Bear Cafe...
Haruna: Ah!  I love Polar Bear Cafe!
Mayu: (this is where the Japanese starts) Polar... Bear ... Cafe...?  Like, a polar bear-themed cafe?
Haruna: No, no.  It's a cafe owned and operated by a polar bear.
Mayu: What?
Haruna: Yeah!  And there's a penguin, and he talks like this [imitates old-style Japanese comedian voice].  And there's this panda, and he's super lazy and his mom is always cleaning the house, so when he says something lazy or doesn't do what he's told, she vacuums him!
Mayu: ....What?
Me: "Don't suck me up!" (the panda's catchphrase from those moments)
Mayu: Seriously.  What?!
Haruna: Yeah, that's what the panda says every time!
Mayu: Because she's vacuuming him...
Haruna: Right!  She's got the vacuum on against his side and his fur gets all messed up and stuff!  You have to watch it!  It's so funny!
Mayu: ...Right.

So by this point we've pretty much convinced her we're crazy.  It gets even better, though, because Haruna and I continue to talk about anime, and I mention Free! Iwatobi Swim Club, which she also enjoys (this girl and I are going to get along really well, I can tell).
Haruna: I like Free too!  Sousuke is my favourite!  And I like the voice actor for Rei.
Me: Haru is my favourite.
Haruna: Ah, Haru! (laughing)
Mayu: (again, switching back to Japanese) What is this?  Why is it so funny?
Haruna: Free!  It's about a swim club.  Haru is funny because he always wears his swimsuit under his clothes and he strips off his other clothes every time he sees water!
Mayu: He's always wearing his swimsuit?
Haruna: Yeah!  And then he just takes off all his other clothes whenever he sees enough water to get into, no matter where it is!

 And that was my day.  Now I'm sitting here, digesting supper and trying to convince myself that I want to go for a run (I really, really don't.  My thighs are like, "Nah, we're good.  We biked to and from the school today," but my stomach is like, "Uh, hello?  Do you realize how much fat is sitting on me?  We need to get this off!").

Sometimes My Life is an Aerosmith Song

Wednesday was my mandatory medical exam.  That was so much fun, I think I`m on a fun overload and therefore can never do it again.  I love being poked, prodded, bled, and asked questions in a language I don`t speak.  Not to mention being clamped to a table.  I had to have an electrocardiogram.  I`ve never had an electrocardiogram before, but I figured it was just a matter of sticking things on me for a couple minutes.  Right?  Wrong.  Before the sticky things happen. you get clamps around your wrists and ankles.  How does this not automatically send anyone`s pulse through the roof?  It`s like the beginning of a horror movie, no matter how brightly lit the place is.

 (In reality, the whole thing is not as bad as I make it out to be, minus the blood sample because that`s always bad, but it`s really stressful when you have to keep having everything interpreted because they`re asking you complicated medical questions you don`t have the vocabulary for.)

After that joyous experience, we went to Mie University Hospital.  I`ll be working here about once a month with the inpatient kids.  I got to see the hospital classroom, as well as meet some of the kids in their rooms.  I`m really excited for this experience, because even though the kids are shy, they seem like they will be a lot of fun!!!  One girl in particular is going to be great fun.  Her room is cluttered with Disney stuff, and art that she`s done (much of which is Disney art or food art).

 As much as I hate Will Ferrel, this is accurate.

My supervisor and I had an interesting experience when we walked into the hospital, though.  We were supposed to be meeting the teacher from the hospital school in the lobby, and all we knew was that she said she would be wearing black pants and a black top.  So we`re standing awkwardly in the lobby, trying to figure out if she`s already there or not, and there`s only one person in the area wearing black clothing.  But it`s biker-punk type black clothing, including a sleeveless shirt to show off multiple arm tattoos, they`re wearing a mask (making them more likely a patient), and their long hair is looking like it`s never seen a brush.  So we decide this is probably not her, and continue to wait.  As we wait, a lady comes up to tattooed patient, they stand, and walk off.  We both watch for a minute, blink a few times, and then my supervisor turns to me and says, `Oh... It was a man...` And then we grinned and had a giggle fit that lasted pretty much until the teacher arrived to greet us a couple minutes later.

Once we finished up at the university hospital (including a lunch at the Chinese restaurant/cafe with an oceanview on the top floor, I kid you not), we went to visit the special needs school I`ll be visiting every Tuesday once classes start (except the times I`m at the hospital).  The teacher who showed me around had excellent English, and was really nice.  He showed me all of the school buildings, since I`ll be working with elementary, junior, and senior high students here on different weeks, and explained what types of special needs the students at the school often have.  It was a little overwhelming, and I`m not really sure of much at this point, but it seems like a great school and it`ll definitely be interesting to see how Japanese schools deal with special needs students.

Thursday.  Last day of summer holidays.

Last day to (easily) pretend that I`m doing work when I`m really not because the staff room is only about a third full.  Nothing much happened, really.  I realized halfway through my bike ride to work that I forgot my lunch in the fridge, so I had to hit up the conbini (convenience store) down the street from the school for food.  Breaded pork chop with sauce and rice.  Not bad.

I also learned that paying bills here is complicated.  Not the actual act of paying them.  Once you get the bill, you bring it to the convenience store (seriously), they scan it in, and you pay there.  The complicated part comes in when you don`t speak/read Japanese, and you didn`t know that prior to sending you the bill, they`re going to send you a separate notice to let you know how much the bill is going to be when you get it (the trees are crying).  If you`re like me, you`re under the impression that this is your bill, and you try to bring it to the convenience store to pay.  Awkward...

Today was the first day of school after summer holidays (though not the first day of classes; I won`t have a class until September 8th, due to other activities happening in the school).  I brought maple cookies for the staff (that I bought at the foreign food store last night, but we`re not telling anyone.  They`re Canadian cookies, so it totally counts), and my supervisor wrote out how to say that I brought them and to please help yourself.  And then the VP called me up to introduce myself during our morning teacher`s meeting and I completely forgot the sheet.  Fail.  So I had to write it out on another paper and my supervisor wrote it in kanji for me.  After that was a brief respite while the students cleaned the school (it`s a thing here, I`ll explain it at a later date), and then it was time for the opening ceremony, where I had to stand up in front of the entire school and give a longer introduction.  I brought a paper along for this one so that I didn`t forget anything/stumble over my words/stand there like a deer in headlights.  I was still terrified, but I think I did okay.  At least, my supervisor said my Japanese was fluid and and the teachers said it was a good speech, so I`m basing my thought that I did okay on that.  I am SO glad that`s over! 

The rest of the day was spent working on lesson plans, pretending to work on lesson plans, and trying to figure out how to use the computer lab for my self-introduction lesson because the PC in the language lab (not the 80s monstrocity, the other computer in the room, which might be from as late as the early 2000s) is broken.  All of the teachers I`ll be working with and I took a trip up to the computer lab with the tech teacher to learn how to work the network up there.  It`s a basic closed network set up with screen sharing, so I had no problem understanding how to work it, even though the tech teacher only speaks Japanese (we had to go through it a couple times for the other teachers, since they`re not used to working with things like this).

Also: My school has a song.  True story.  It has a theme song.  Like Hogwarts.  Except that it has a definite tune, and it`s super happy and cute and I have no idea what the hell it`s saying.  Sometimes I forget that I`m in Japan, and obviously everything has its own mascot and theme song.

Since all the teachers were back today, I got fed more.  Omiyage is a fabulous thing.

Steve Doesn`t Like That Kind of Language

As most of you have seen on Facebook already, I bought rain boots this weekend!  This is kind of a big deal.  Not because it`s excessively rainy and I can`t deal (it did rain a lot last week, but I did fine with damp feet).  No, this is important step because I had to go to a shoe store.  And all the rain boots are at the back of the store with just a single boot on display, so you have to find someone, and then inquire about sizes, and then try them on and let the sales clerk know if it`s okay or not.

A bit of backgroud info is required at this point, I think; I have a somewhat unique take on language proficiency levels.  I consider the different levels as follows:
1. Native speaker - self-explanatory
2. Fluent speaker - not born into it, but essentially the same level as a native speaker
3. Business speaker - you`re proficient enough to hold a formal meeting in that language specific to your industry, but you`re still making some small errors in things you don`t deal with regularly
4. Conversation speaker - you can make small talk before the meeting, but can`t conduct the actual meeting
5. Casual speaker - you can order at a restaurant, go to a shop, get a hotel room; everyday life essentials
6. Beginner speaker - you can introduce yourself and greet others
7. `Help, I`m lost in the airport!` speaker - you can say hello and ask someone if they speak your native language

Normally I would consider myself a beginner.  But this interaction has shown me that maybe it won`t take that much for me to be considered a casual speaker.  I was able to ask for (what I assumed was) my size, understand when she said they didn`t have that size but the next size up, say that the next size might be okay, and then express that they fit perfectly when I tried them on.  Go me!  There was one point where I didn`t understand what she was asking (I think she was asking if I wanted the packaging, but I`m not sure, and I had zero ways of confirming this), but evidently it wasn`t important so we just let it go.  Still considering this a win.  Also, my rain boots are really cute.

So I`ve got my Japanese for JETs textbook open on my desk, and I decide I`m going to do some review on the basic stuff in the early chapters before moving ahead to where I was working before I left Canada.  I was working somewhat blindly through the exercises in this book before, reading the grammar and then doing to corresponding exercises without actually paying attention to the bigger picture of what I was doing.  So I`m working through Lesson 2: What and Where.  I look at the first exercise, in which you`re forming the answers for the questions `Is this            ?` with yes or no based on what the book is telling you.  Now, I`m going to have to assume that there is an implication of `Is this            (in Japanese)?` because otherwise these scenarios are ridiculous.  Like the second one:
Kore wa isu desu ka? - Iie, isu dewa arimasen.
Translation: Is this a chair? - No, that`s not a chair.
Who is dumb enough to need to confirm whether or not something is a chair?!?!?!?!  So, like I said, I`m assuming the context here is actually `Is `chair` the right word for this in your language?` and you`re confirming your vocabulary.  Because otherwise, that`s just a giant facepalm right there.  I`m also assuming the same for the `What is this place?` exercise, since the last one is this:
Koko was nan desu ka? - Oteari desu.
Translation: What is this place? - This is the toilet (room).  (Cultural note: a `bathroom` is literally the room with the bath in it, which is separate from the room with the toilet.)
You`d think the toilet(s) in the room would sort of give it away, so I`m choosing to believe that the question is really, `What is this place (called in Japanese)?`

Lunch with the ladies was fabulous.  First of all, spaghetti with crab and cream sauce.  Major win.  Secondly, the ladies were very entertaining.  I understood about one word in ten that wasn`t translated for me, but they`re still very expressive talkers, so I enjoyed just sitting back and listening to them!  It will shock exactly no one that our conversation turned at one point to Disney.  I`m considering calling it my superpower.  The Japanese language teacher who went with us goes every year (seems to be a thing around here, because my supervisor said the same thing about her family), and last year she went three times!  Super jealous.  We also discussed her son`s sixth grade summer homework.  One social studies report option was to go to a farm and watch a cow become beef. 

My reaction.

WHY IS THIS A THING?!  That`s horrifying!  It`s a wonder Japanese kids don`t all turn out to be vegetarians!  I mean, it`s not that I`m not aware of where my meat comes from.  I am aware that the delicious steak on my plate used to be a fuzzy cow.  That does not, however, mean I want to witness the process.  (Bodily fluids are gross, human or otherwise.)  She brought me in the report today so I could see it.  I'll admit, it was kind of interesting, and you should have seen the kid's face in the picture he took holding a huge bone with meat!  Still gross, though.

One of the best things about so many of the teachers going on vacation in the summer is that they come back, and I get fed.  Omiyage (pronounced something like oh-me-ya-gay) is a small gift from a trip, literally comprised of the words for `earth` and `product`, so it`s often a local specialty.  These are given to family/friends/coworkers upon return, and are generally in the form of some small, individually wrapped food.  Thus, I get fed.  You can also bring non-edible souvenirs, which you downplay for humility no matter how cool it may be (`a trifling thing`), but food is more popular, for obvious reasons.

 The stick ones on the right are from my supervisor, who went somewhere in Kyushu.  The best way to describe them would be like... cake croutons?  The one on the left is from someone else (it was on my desk when I came back from lunch) who went somewhere.  I dunno.  It's got an octopus on it, so maybe Osaka?  I don't read Japanese.

 And these are from the Japanese teacher I talked about at lunch who went to Disneyland.

Today was my first day of teaching, technically.  We had a sort of open house for potential incoming students, and the students could sign up to experience different classes.  A whole nine students elected to have an English class, so I did the demo lesson .  I`ve never been so afraid of a group of fourteen-year olds in my life.  I couldn`t sit still before the lesson (though that`s really not much of an indicator, because I can`t sit still ever), I kept going over my lesson plan again, and again, and again.  I wondered, `What if I can`t get them to speak?,` `What if they don`t understand me?` (this was a stupid worry, since a JTE would be in the room with me), `What if they don`t have fun?`, `What if the entire lesson I planned only takes 10 minutes and I don`t have enough extra material to cover the rest of the class?`  I was a wreck.  Internally.  Outwardly I am a model of decorum and tranquility.  Or at least I`m not any different than I usually am, which is perhaps not a model of decorum and tranquility...  I might be a bit of a spaz...  Anyway, my motto for the morning was as follows:

I`m reasonably certain this is what my face looked like.

Despite my intese fear of a group of teenagers, I think it went well overall.  As expected, they didn`t really speak.  It took a lot of encouragement (and translating by the JTEs) before we could get them to say anything.  I`m pretty sure `Good Morning` took four tries to get a response.  We played a game where I had written answers about myself and my country on the board, and they had to guess what the question was.  (A note to anyone who wants to use this in their own classroom, it might be good to have a sheet with all of the questions, but out of order, so the students still have to figure out which one, but you don`t have to waste a bunch of class time waiting for them to translate everything because they think in Japanese first.)  They seemed to enjoy it once we got started, though they were still really hesitant and quiet.  I`m hoping that my regular classes are a little more forthcoming, but I`m having my doubts.  Oh well, we`ll see in a few weeks.

New goal for self: Learn a Japanese song to sing at karaoke after my official welcome party on September 25th.  (Karaoke is like a national sport here, I swear.  Everyone does a karaoke after-party for everything.)  It will be impressive, and I will be adored!  I`m thinking the ending song from Howl`s Moving Castle.  Or from any other Studio Ghibli movie.  But Howl is my favourite, so I`m hoping that one won`t be too much of a pain to learn.

In non-language related news, there`s now a typhoon raging through my area now.  I haven`t seen weather this crazy since I left Florida.



Singing in the Rain

I spent the weekend being my usual asocial self, which means that I streamed about a season and a half of television over a period of two days and only left my air conditioning to visit the washroom or get food.  I consider it a win, though, because I enjoyed it; it was relaxing.

Yesterday the English teacher who invited me for pasta was back from her holidays, so we had some interesting (and hilarious) conversations about her cat (technically her husband`s cat, because she wanted birds, but whatever), who is absolutely adorable.  This teacher is also adorable, in a totally non-patronizing kind of way.  She`s a very happy lady, always smiling and laughs easily, like me.  And then she apologized for bothering me with pictures of her cat!  As if!  A) I`m pretty sure if there was a job in which I got paid to look at pictures of cats all day, I would do it, and B) you`re definitely not bothering me!  I always have my school work and my Japanese studying open on my desk, so it looks like I`m working on important stuff, but given that I still have only a vague idea of what I`m doing and have done all the prep work I can at this point, I`ve been working on my attempt at planning a novel for the past week and a half.  The upside: I`m getting paid to write a novel!  The downside: I`m not supposed to be writing a novel in order to receive this paycheck.

It also rained Monday, yesterday, and today (though Monday was more like heavy misting).  I have to either bike or walk to work.  I bike 95% of the time, even though I strongly dislike biking, because it takes less than half the time.  Do you know what`s worse than biking?  Biking uphill in the rain while wearing jeans.  I see everyone around here wearing full rainsuits while they bike (jacket and splash pants, usually matching).  There`s one in my entrance closet, but there is no way that`s ever going to fit me in this universe.  I doubt any of the stores around here are going to carry anything in my size either.  So wet jeans it was (today I was smart and walked with an umbrella instead).  At least I had the foresight to bring my rainjacket (that`s really more of a windbreaker because the rain kind of comes through anyway).  I need to learn how to bike with an umbrella.  Given that I can barely let go of the handlebars long enough to brush my hair out of my eyes without being in danger of careening into something (car, light post, mirror post, wall, rice field...), I`m thinking I`m a long way off from ever being able to do this.

Fun fact: Biking is where the singing happens.  And not necessarily just in the rain.  Or out loud.  So okay, it`s not really singing so much as `the iPod in my head.`  But every time I get on my bike, one of two pieces of music begins running through my head, and it doesn`t stop until I finish my ride.  It`s either Do Re Mi from The Sound of Music, or the theme music for the Wicked Witch of the West/Ms Gulch from The Wizard of Oz.  Usually Oz.  Oh god I`m such a nerd.

I had a meeting today with the four teachers who teach 1st Year (Grade 10 equivalent) English to discuss the upcoming term.  This was both awesome and terrifying.  I presented to them my official plans I`d done up for the first lessons and the open house lesson next week.  They were really receptive to what I had done, which was great because it means I don`t have to scrap everything and start over.  Then came the terrifying part wherein they pulled out the calendars and told me which textbook lessons had to be worked on during which weeks from now until midterms at the end of October.  I`d been working on some stuff on my own based on our brief conversations before and what I thought we would be covering in that time.  There`s ... a lot more to cover in one class than I thought there would be. 

I think the best part of today was when two of the teachers and I went over to the Language Lab (where English class happens) to check out the equipment, since none of us knows offhand how to use the projector in there, and I`m hoping to use it for my self-introduction lesson.  One of the teachers had a list of the instructions, and when we got there we also noticed some instructions in English on the board.  But that wasn`t the good part.  The good part was when we we actually looked at the equipment.  No word of a lie, this stuff is from 1988 (it says so).  It looks like the things you saw in the movies in the late 80s and early 90s, with all the military stuff and complicated buttons and whatever.  You know, in the locked down control room the villain is trying to break into so that they can fire the missiles?  And it`s all built directly into the desk, with a dual cassette player on which I`d really love to play Peter Quill`s mix tape.  It would look perfect in that machine.  Seriously.  I need to take a picture of this thing and post it so that you can understand how ridiculously complex and deliciously retro it really is.
 Until then, imagine this, but with more buttons so that it takes up the full length of a desk.

The Remainder of My Second Week (Or, Mostly Adventures in Food)

So after my last post, or possibly just before and I forgot to include it, one of my JTEs came up to me, leans close like she`s got a secret or planning something totally elicit, and says to me, "Mel-sensei, do you like... pasta?"  To quote Gilmore Girls, "Uh, only with my oxygen."  But I didn`t say that, obviously.  That may have come off as rude, and the fine art of sarcasm is lost on the Japanese anyway.  So I responded that I did, and now have an invitation to a "girls` lunch" with a couple of the other teachers to an Italian place somewhere near the school.  Go me!

There was an awful thunderstorm that kept me up, so I spent most of the next day trying to learn to sleep with my eyes open.  Sadly, I am not Gandalf and therefore this did not work.  Instead I spent the day trying to come up with activites and plans that seemed really cool and made sense with the lessons in the book, but without getting overly invested in them in case the JTEs think they won`t work and I have to come up with something else.  So far this includes a game I found called `Typhoon` that I`ve renamed `Tsunami` purely because I like it better, making zoo ads for baby animals (they`re learning about what scientifically makes something cute and being cute as a survival skill, I kid you not), and giving them lyrics for English songs (or songs that were originally English and then translated to Japanese for recording here) that are popular and having them figure out the `message` of the song; `Let It Go` and `Shake It Off` are at the top of my list.
Unrelated bonus: I made it to school without looking at a map! 

Got groceries to make stir fry.  Also decided to treat myself and bought a delicious-looking chocolate melon bread. 

`That looks delicious!` you say.  And the cartoon-y picture on the package (the package I don`t have a prayer of reading, as it doesn`t have hiragana or katakana on it) shows that it`s filled with something that could possibly be chocolate pudding or fudge or something!  Double the awesome!  In the words of the most horrific character in the Harry Potter series, "This. is. a. LIE."  The bread is delicious, sure, and the crunchy, chocolatey sugar coating on the top even more so.  But that stuff in the middle?  Yeah, SO not pudding.  Not even chocolate.  No, no; they decided that it would be an excellent idea to fill this fantabulous bun with RED BEAN PASTE.  Why?!?!?!  I`ve encountered sweet red bean paste (anko) many times in the past, as it`s a staple in traditional Japanese sweets, and I`ve hated it every time.  Which is a shame, because things like taiyaki smell absolutely delicious and make me want one every time I pass by a booth.  (At least there`s still chocolate chip melon bread; less chocolatey, but there`s no hidden awfulness to spoil it.)

Dear Japan,

Please stop ruining otherwise wonderful desserts and snacks with your strange bean-based so-called sweets.  They`re awful, and you`re kind of crushing my dreams.

Love,
Mel

Side note: It may not have mattered even if the package was written in hiragana. Last week I bought a package of chips that was in hiragana, but I wasn`t paying attention, because I just expect NOT to be able to read the package; usually I just take an educated guess based on the picture. I couldn`t quite tell, but there were green flecks on the chips, so I thought they might be sour cream and onion!  Well, it turned out they were wasabi. That`s right, my chips tasted like burning and death.

I did not, however, make the stir fry that night.  I decided it was too hot and it would take too long and I was hungry, so I also picked up a pizza at the grocery store.  I like pizza.  How could you go wrong with pizza?  Well, as many of you have seen on Facebook, apparently you can go wrong with pizza if you`re a Japanese grocery store.  I`m not sure I can identify everything that was on it, but there was definitely corn, broccoli, shrimp, and mayonaise involved.  I kid you not.  It was edible, sure, but I don`t think I`ll be desperate enough to have it again any time soon.

And now I was just informed (mostly in Japanese, but with a little bit of very broken English) that the only two teachers in the room today are leaving for the weekend, so it`ll be me.  By myself.  For the rest of the day.  I think what I`m supposed to do is let them know at the front office when I`m leaving to get the key to lock the teacher`s room door, but I`m not actually sure, so we`ll play it by ear.  I MIGHT sneak out a bit early, just to make sure someone is still IN the office when I want to leave...  Awkward.  Well, that makse sense with the comment I heard from that teacher earlier, which was something to the effect of, "It`s just you, me, and the ALT who doesn`t speak Japanese..."  I wondered where he was going with that.  Now I know.

PS. That was, in fact, what I was supposed to do, except the office man said he would lock the door, so all is good.  And my stir fry was amazing.  I will also be eating leftovers for the next three days.

The First Couple Weeks (Or, What Am I Doing With My Life?!?!)

Well, I`ve been here a week and a half now, so I`ve had time to process things and adjust (except to the heat.  The heat in Mie [pronounced like me-yay] is disgusting.  You don`t even understand how hot and humid it is.  I thought I would be fine after my time in Florida.  I was wrong).  Now, sit back, relax, and bask in the glory (aka alternating boredom and panic) that is my re-telling of my journey here.

So we got on the plane in Toronto and flew for almost thirteen hours.  Joy.  I traded for a window seat, and both my seat buddies were cool, so that was all good.  The meals were okay (I always go vegan/veg on flights now because a) rubbery chicken skeeves me out, and b) it`s safer with my egg intolerance on flights that serve breakfast), but the ones to and from Denmark were better. I was my usual movie-obsessed self, watching Age of Ultron (because how could I not watch that if it`s offered?!), The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (still quality, but not as good as the first), Big Hero 6 (again, how could I not?), and The Duff (this was when I had reached the point of pretty much just staring blankly at the seat in front of me, I wanted something I hadn`t seen before, but not necessarily something I wanted to pay much attention to).  I also kicked ass at the hidden object game when the three of us in my row played together, thus proving yet again that I really need a life.

We got to Tokyo and the `air conditioned` airport (this is a lie).  Customs took only about 30 seconds longer than it normally does when I`m a tourist, which frankly scares me a bit, but I have my residence card, so whatever.  Collected luggage, and had to haul it halfway to bloody China outside in the heat and humidity to reach the buses, whereupon one of my suitcases was mysteriously whisked away to be sent to my school (but without really being labelled with anything other than a JET card with my name on it, so I was worried about it actually making it here), and the other was loaded under the bus.  During this trip, multiple people stopped to ask me if I was alright because I had to keep stopping and readjusting my grip on my suitcases/wiping the excessive sweat from my face.  Yes, thank you, I`m fine, just horribly out of shape, uncoordinated, and unused to the heat.  Please disregard my burgundy face.  It looks worse than it actually is.  Finally got to the hotel, checked in, collapsed on the bed for a few minutes, met the roommates (equally awesome ladies), and connected to the internet to let everyone know I was alive and to write the previous post.  By this point, it was about 8PM and we were starving, so it was down to the konbini (convenience store) in the hotel basement for a quick dinner.  We were super lame and went to bed between 9-9:30PM.

I`ll spare you most of the actual orientation stuff, because it was excessively boring, mostly common sense, and stuff you`ll only understand if you`re already here, doing this.  If you`re leaving from Toronto, you get at least 75% of this information before you go.  Dinner the first night was a reception with finger foods, and we were organized according to our prefecture so that we could socialize with the people we`re likely to see the most over the next however many years.  After that, again I was lame and went to bed.  There was a tour and drinking party organized for the Toronto JETs by Japanese people who had visited Toronto in the past, but I was tired and lazy and therefore skipped out.  Plus I`ve been to Tokyo before, so it`s less of a big deal for me.  The next night, however, was a reception for Canadians at the Canadian Embassy, which was awesome because there was PIZZA.  There was also beer, but PIZZA.  I have issues, I`m aware. 

We traveled as a group, of course, to Mie on the train.  This was an interesting trip with a 27lb backpack and probably 20lb purse.  But I made it!  My supervisor and one of the other Japanese English teachers (JTE) picked me up when we got to the Board of Education office in Tsu.  They brought me to my apartment, to my high school to meet with the principal (for which I wore my jacket and thus was sweating an embarassing amount, but at least my clothing was appropriate), and to the mall and supermarket to get things/so I knew where they were.

Since that time, I`ve mostly been at school, introducing myself to all of the teachers (98% of whom I don`t remember now), touring the school (I know where the teacher`s room, washroom, and front office are; everything else is a blur), and trying to figure out what the hell I`m doing.  I found out that we`ll be having an open house for potential incoming students on the 25th, at which I`ll be expected to do a demo lesson with one of the JTEs.  He came up to me on Thursday and asked if I had any ideas.  Uh, no.  In a big way, no.  I have zero idea what I`m doing right now.  This was followed on Friday by a meeting with him and one of the other JTEs to let me know what parts of the lessons in the textbook I should be concerned with.  Great.  I still have zero idea what I`m doing.  I`m just going to make this up as I go along.  So now we have a meeting set for late next week to discuss what I`ll have come up with by then.

On the weekend, I went to the mall and the grocery store by myself (scary!).  I`d just like to point out that I didn`t get lost on either trip.  Probably because I was using the Maps app on my phone, but I`ve been known to get lost before even with a GPS, so it`s still kind of a big deal. 

The beginning of this week was Mie Prefectural Orientation, which was infinitely more useful than Tokyo.  We learned practical things, like what a lesson plan actually is, useful Japanese phrases for the office (ie, how to ask for cake/vacation time), how to prevent and deal with pests (mukade are the most terrifying things in existence), how to use an ATM, and how to not die in an earthquake (probably).  There was also a Mie JETs party for both new and returning people.  Conveniently, this took place in my neighbourhood, so I could just walk there and back.  We played an icebreaker game where we had a list of words we had to try to get people to say in conversation without obviously soliciting the word, which led to a lot of really interesting and odd conversations.

And now I`m back at school.  Many of the teachers are off right now for their summer vacation, especially because it`s time for Obon (kind of like the Mexican Day of the Dead; it`s about honouring their ancestors, and there are huge festivals and stuff), so mostly I just sit back here in my corner and don`t talk to anyone because no one who is in the office can communicate with me.  It`s a little awkward.  But there was one funny interaction around lunch time, involving a teacher I hadn`t met yet because he was on holidays last week.  The following takes place entirely in Japanese.

Teacher: (Comes into the teacher`s room, looks at me. Squints, looks closer at me.  Turns to the Japanese teacher sitting across from me) Who`s that?
Japanese Teacher: The new ALT.  Mel.  (She turns to me) Right?  Or, Melanie?
Me: Yes.  I`m Mel.  I`m from Canada!  Nice to meet you!
Teacher: Ah, Canada.  And...sorry, the name was...?
Japanese Teacher: Melanie.  Mel.
Me: Mel is okay.
Teacher: Ms. Okay??
Me: No, no.  Mel. (Cue internal facepalming)
Another teacher who`s been listening to us: Man, it`s a good think you teach math!

So I`m sitting here, typing this up, trying to kill time.  With no one to talk to, I`m blazing through my work.  What I planned on taking me from now until Friday at least to work through is already about 85% done.  I can hear a bunch of sports teams practicing outside, and I`d love to go watch them for a while, but I don`t actually know how to ask that...  It`s not really a thing to just up and leave your desk to wander without letting someone know where you`re going (unless you`re only stepping out for a quick minute, like the washroom, or it`s really obvious where you`re going because you have a class to teach).  Plus who knows if the sports teams want some random foreigner watching them (they probably do; apparently it`s a big deal when ALTs show up for sporting things), so I`d like to be able to check with the coach/manager first.  And I can`t.  I will look it up for tomorrow, because I don`t think I can take another full day of `busy` work, and there`s only so many lessons I can plan without guidance from the JTEs as to whether or not what I`m planning is remotely what they want.  I should have taken the rest of this week off.  They tried to tell me to, but I was all like, I don`t know what I`m doing and I want as much time in school as possible to figure it out and plan.  That was stupid.

Why JET is Not for People With Established Lives

Coming to you live from my first day/night/I've-been-up-more-than-24-hours in Japan, it's me! Not that this hasn't been a great experience thus far, but I'd like to start off with a warning to any JET hopefuls reading this for insight and advice: being a non-recent university/college grad on this program is not easy. Here's why:

1. Probably 90% of the people in your arrival group are younger than you. Sometimes only by a year, sometimes by 6+ years. It can be hard to find things in common with these people in initial conversations, so you really have to dig sometimes (unless they happen to have an awesome/nerdy clothing item or accessory to open conversation easily; until you're actually boarding the plane and seeing people in their comfy clothes, this is unlikely to happen).

2. You probably have a real job you're leaving behind. I don't think that one needs anymore explanation.

3. You're probably living on your own, with furniture and belongings and now you have to find a place to put all that. You have a lot of junk to sort through, and unless you complete point two really early and become a hobo/dweller in your family's basement and just don't have any incoming cash for a while before you leave, you're going to have to go through it all in a stupidly short period of time. You'll forget things, run out of space for things, and spend a lot of time wondering what the hell you're doing and if it's worth it.

4. You have life experience. This makes a lot of basic orientation redundant, and really boring.

5. Going along with points 2 and 4, there will be a lot of useful information sessions and training you won't be able to attend, unless you happen to live within your departure city and have a day job.

I decided it was worth it anyway, and here I am. This is not even remotely meant as a deterrent. I just think others should really understand what they're getting into. A lot of these things hadn't occurred to me at the time, because everything I knew about pre-departure came from my friends who did the program. Six years ago. Straight out of university.